This week is hard...

If you read "Seeing Mama Home," you have an idea of what's going on in my life right now, so pass me up today if you're looking for my light-hearted self. She's not here, or maybe in just a little different way, she is. I am finding out for sure and certain what it is like to watch a dear one move on to be with God in a home that's much better, but, DANG! dying is HARD, and watching someone in their last days/hours is hard too. The human spirit is SO STRONG. I remember this from my mom in her last days and from another lovely friend, Ms. G, our school secretary, with whom I was VERY close. She was like my "favorite aunt," though unrelated by blood but in spirit. I remember how she just kept fighting for life, and her heart just kept going strong, much longer than thought humanly possible. Now, Miss Christine is doing this. . . working hard at staying alive while dying. Several aides and others have said,"She's waiting for something or someone." I gather it's a fairly common trait among the dying. They wait till everyone they THINK should come look at their faces one more time in this life, show up. My friend Gina, whose son is like a grandson to Christine, thinks she is "waiting for Ben." Well, if that's the case, I wish Ben would hurry and get here so Christine can rest!
One thing that makes it hard to be with a barely-living person is, they just don't look like themselves any more. Christine has always prided herself on looking pretty and stylish. She always hated wearing hospital gowns, and she would NOT allow anyone to see her without her dentures, for goodness sake! There's nothing we the "watchers" can do about the teeth. I guess they would be dangerous for her and perhaps interfere with her breathing, although I do wish we could test that theory. I would bring on the denture cream and give it a go! We decided we could at least do something to make her more comfortable and "pretty" her up some anyway. We got out one of her favorite soft gowns, and the sweet aides put it on her. That would make her feel more cozy, and it is in her favorite color. . . pink:) She's always had great hair, but when you can't get to the beauty shop for umpteen weeks and your body is shutting down, the hair starts going too. So, I took a pretty silk scarf, printed in her favorite pinks and turquoise, and put it around her hair and tied it in a side-bow. It gave her some color and "sass." It was agreed that she would really like the look. Gina thought she could use some earrings, but I said that would look a bit "gypsy-like," so we held back on that idea. I wasn't finished though; I gave her cheeks some slight color and put pink lip gloss on her lips and made sure her eyebrows were shaped. THERE. Much better. If Christine could smile, I know she would. I think she is smiling inside.